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Dr. Misner wrote an article in 1999 explaining why members should remain loyal to chapter members by using their services.  If you expect loyalty from others, you must also provide it. This is BNI’s core value of Givers Gain.

That being said, life happens.

Sometimes personal politics compel you to use a service provider who is not in your chapter but provides the same service as one of your members. When this occurs, it’s important to be professional.

Let’s say that you purchased a new home.  A new home purchase is a major event in one’s life, and it’s only natural to share your excitement with friends and business colleagues.  However; if for some reason you purchased that home without using the Realtor, Mortgage Broker, or Real Estate Lawyer in your BNI chapter, use discretion when sharing your news.

Should you announce your purchase to the chapter, the chapter members will be expecting you to also make mention of the wonderful service provided to you by your fellow chapter members. If you don’t make mention of the service provided, it will be obvious to all members that you didn’t utilize the services of your fellow members.

This situation is incredibly damaging to all involved. In fact, it’s damaging for the entire chapter for several reasons.

Reasons to Remain Loyal to BNI Members and Their Services

First, your personal credibility is at stake. As a BNI member you ask others to give you business, yet you inadvertently announce to the entire chapter that you are less than committed to giving your personal business in return.  Building trust, loyalty, and rapport with your chapter takes time and effort.

Your considerable effort can easily be undone by a single display of disloyalty on your part.  Your reputation as a loyal, trustworthy person is something to protect. Few things in life are as important, or as powerful, as your good name.

Second, you must consider the reputation of the Realtor, Mortgage Broker, and Real Estate Lawyer in the chapter.  By not using their services with your home purchase, you are casting a considerable doubt about the quality of their professional services.  It begs the question, “Why didn’t he use their service?”

That doubt could easily cost those members tens of thousands of dollars over the next few months. For the sake of the fellow members, be cautious with your words.

Third, you must consider the likely possibility of burning a very lucrative bridge.  Do you really want to burn your bridges with any members if you can avoid it? One printer I know used a realtor outside the chapter. However the chapter’s realtor spends over $50,000 a year in print advertising. What are the chances that printer will ever see a nickel of that money?

Also consider the potential referrals lost which might far outweigh that $50,000.  Just ask a simple question: What is the service provider outside my chapter doing to support my business?

If the answer is nothing…then why support them?

Lastly, if this behaviour becomes acceptable within the chapter, then the number of referrals passed amongst the chapter as a whole will disintegrate.  Any organization that strays from its core values will eventually waiver, maybe even dissolve.

Givers Gain is the fuel of BNI’s international success. Without Givers Gain as your focus, your chapter simply will not survive. BNI is not a social club; it’s a referral generating machine. If you aren’t there to support your chapter with referrals, your chapter will not be there to support you either.

Socrates once said, “Be as you wish to seem.” If you wish to be seen as faithful, trustworthy, and dependable, then BE faithful, trustworthy, and dependable. These are the qualities that will attract more happiness and success into your life—and more referrals into your business.

Mark Meincke is an award-winning author of “Why Not Me?”: The keys to unlock your power, and release your potential.


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