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I miss Mayberry.

Filmed in black and white, the TV classic The Andy Griffith Show featured an ensemble cast– Andy, Opey, Aunt Bea, Barney, and Gomer—and the day-to-day happenings of a sleepy town, Mayberry. What I remember most is the sense of community—the people caring for each other in genuine, albeit comical—ways. I miss it.

While technology has enhanced our lives in many ways, it has pushed our relationships behind an electronic curtain.  Mayberry has been lost.

We’ve become so preoccupied with “being connected,” we’ve stopped really connecting.  At a family meal at a restaurant, the six-year-old plays her handheld games, the teen texts, and parents check their I-Phones.

I offer this for consideration.  Continue using technology – but don’t abandon face-to-face human connection. To connect most effectively, consider my “Mayberry” tips:

1. Listen.  Hearing is an ability; listening is a skill that can be improved with practice.  Be curious about others; ask them questions about themselves.  Perhaps you’ll learn about a shared common interest, which may create a real connection.


When you listen intently, two things happen.  First, you learn about their likes, needs, and struggles – which may allow you to identify their needs and how you can help.  Second, you leave a positive impression without saying a word.  Taking a genuine interest in another individual creates a level of respect and trust.


2. Offer Help.  In Mayberry, everyone offered to help a neighbor in need. These days “adding value” and “How can I help you?” are often empty catch phrases. Every other person at a networking event wants to know how they can add value to you, or how they can help you.


Unfortunately, this approach backfires unless it is authentic.  Most people will just assume you want something from them.  To help means “to serve.” It is a selfless act—that doesn’t expect anything in return.  When you seek to help others, it comes back around in the most unexpected ways—Mayberry style.


3. Write a note.  Not an e-mail – a real, honest-to-goodness, pen-on-paper note.  There were no computers in Mayberry.  But Aunt Bea had stationery and would write personal notes.  (Are you rolling your eyes?)

Indulge me.  When was the last time you received an unexpected handwritten card or note?  Most likely you have a mailbox full of direct mail ads, bills, and the occasional magazine.  But I bet if you have received a hand-written note, you remember it clearly—because almost no one does it anymore.

It takes extra time and a few extra steps. But it says to the recipient that you value them enough to make extra time to connect.”  Is there any tangible value in that?  You bet there is.  It’s called human connection.

So go forth and tweet, post messages on your Facebook and LinkedIn pages, e-mail your heart out, and blog away.  But keep a little bit of nostalgia in your networking arsenal.

Sandy Donovan is the Executive Director of BNI for Palm Beach and Southeast Florida.  She is also the Executive Director of Network University, which she founded in 2009.  As a contributing author to two New York Times Best-Selling books, Masters of Networking and Masters of Sales, Donovan has had the opportunity to share her knowledge and experience with a global audience.  She is a professional speaker and trainer, and lives in Palm Beach County with her husband, John, and their two children.



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