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Why Make All the Mistakes?

Become a great networker by learning from others’ successes.

By Dr. Ivan Misner

There are tried-and–true networking techniques that are so simple they seem like they would be ineffective. Many times, we try to re-evaluate, improve upon, and complicate them. An experience I had once while on vacation reminds me of how we try to make some things harder than they really are—and miss success in the process.

I was in Hawaii enjoying the surf when, unbeknownst to me, the water thickened with Portuguese Man O’War jellyfish. Suddenly I felt a stinging sensation across my chest. I wiped my chest with my right wrist and arm and lifted my arm up out of the water. I saw the tentacles dripping off my arm and followed them with my eyes about eight feet away to the body of the Man O’War jellyfish. With mounting alarm, I shook the tentacles off my wrist and quickly swam to shore.

I ran up to the first hotel employee I saw, a cabana boy, who was serving drinks to a sunning couple just off the pool deck and urgently exclaimed, “I think I’ve just been hit in the chest by a Man O’War jellyfish! What should I do??”

“Are you feeling any pressure in your chest?” he wanted to know.

“No, none at all,” I replied anxiously.

“Okay, okay, here’s what you need to do. Go on over to the market off the lobby and ask for some vinegar and meat tenderizer. You’re going to want to spray the vinegar onto your chest and then shake the meat tenderizer onto the same spot and rub it all around. You’ll be fine,” he assured me.

Well, I must say that I was less than impressed with this bizarre advice. He was entirely too calm and it seemed entirely too easy to be a real solution – not to mention that it was just plain strange. I figured he was doing a version of “let’s goof on the tourist,” so I moved on to ask someone else for help.

I spotted a hotel employee standing not too far off and gingerly jogged over to him, urgently repeating my exclamation, “I’ve just been hit in the chest by a Man O’War jellyfish! What should I do?”

He said, “Are you feeling any pressure in your chest?” Oh boy, I thought, next he’s going to tell me to get some meat tenderizer! I thought he was kidding, or maybe I was in a bad dream and just couldn’t wake up.

“No, I’m not feeling any pressure in my chest,” I reluctantly responded.

“Okay, then go over to the market off the lobby and ask for some vinegar and meat tenderizer. You have to get that on your chest and rub it around and then you’ll be just fine,” he said reassured. I felt anything but reassured.

By this time, I thought that maybe I better find someone who might really know what to do. I headed up to the lobby, thinking that the hotel manager would be a good choice to get a straight answer from.

There at the front desk was a mature gentleman wearing a badge that read: “Hotel Manager.” Surely, I thought, this guy’s not going to “goof on the tourist.” I walked up to him and repeated my mantra about the jellyfish strike. He looked at me with grave concern and said, “Are you feeling any pressure in your chest.” “No,” I replied, “I’m not feeling any chest pain.” “OK, good,” he said. “You need to go down the hall to the small market and get some vinegar and meat tenderizer and put them on one at a time and rub them thoroughly into your chest.”

Finally, I said what I’d been thinking all along: “You can’t be serious, right?” This is a joke, right?” He reassured me this was not a joking matter. I needed to proceed to the store immediately and apply that remedy.

I reluctantly trucked down the hall to the store just knowing that they were all back there laughing at the goofy tourist who was actually going to do a self-imposed “meat rub” on his chest. I was sure they had some barbecue grill fired up for when I returned to the lobby all slathered up with vinegar and meat tenderizer.

I entered the small market off the lobby and started my search for char-grilled products when I started feeling short of breath. Suddenly, very quickly and forcefully, I began to experience a crushing weight on my chest. Was I having a heart attack? Great! I’m having a coronary after wasting so much time talking to members of the hotel staff, who were trying to get me to rub meat tenderizer on my chest. I walked out of the store and staggered to the front desk, which by now was very busy with new guests checking in to the hotel. I made eye contact with the hotel manager and almost immediately, dropped to the ground, clutching my chest, barely able to gasp “Man O’War!”

What happened next was a total blur. I seem to remember a small child yelling and pointing at me as I lay there in my bathing suit, gasping for breath.

“Look mommy, there’s a man on the floor.” The mother said something about staying away from people who do drugs. I looked over and tried to say no, not drugs – jellyfish! But all that came out was gibberish.

The paramedics rushed to the scene. Finally, I was going to get the medical attention I needed. After determining what had happened, the paramedic opened his life-saving kit and I knew he was about to pull out a defibrillator. I made my peace with God and I braced myself for the big jolt. Instead, he pulled out – yes, you guessed it – vinegar in a spray bottle and some Adolf’s meat tenderizer! He then proceeded to spray the vinegar and then sprinkle the meat tenderizer on my chest, and thoroughly rub the mixture around. Within seconds, literally seconds, the excruciating pain began to subside. Within a couple minutes it was almost completely gone.

What I thought was a big “barbeque joke” on the tourist turns out to be a well-known cure for some jellyfish strikes. You see, the meat tenderizer contains the enzyme papain, which breaks down the toxin proteins and neutralizes them. It sounds too simple to be really effective, but it is, in fact, one of the best things to do in that situation.

Thinking back on it, I am amazed at how many people gave me the solution before I had to learn the hard way. Sure, who’s going to believe a cabana boy? I mean, what does he know, right? And the hotel employee – OK, maybe there’s the start of a pattern here, but I have a doctoral degree – I’m “smart”—and these guys have just got to be kidding me… right? And then the hotel manager as well… OK, I admit it, at that point there’s just no excuse. I should have figured out these guys knew what they were talking about, and I did not.

I made one of the biggest mistakes that people in business make – I didn’t listen to the people who have experience. I assumed that I just had to know better. The truth is I didn’t know better.

There is nothing like experience. It beats education every day of the week. The only thing better is a combination of education and experience, or at least a willingness to learn from other people’s experience. There are many basic referral marketing and networking techniques that any good businessperson knows to be effective. They don’t try to look for something more complicated or involved, because they know from their own experience, as well as the experience of others, what works and doesn’t work in business.

Throughout your life you may read things that seem too simple to be effective or may see ideas that you’ve heard before. Don’t dismiss them. Embrace them. Although these ideas may be simple – they are not easy. If they were easy, everyone would do them – and they don’t!

Great networkers learn from other people’s success. So, go get that vinegar and meat tenderizer and learn from other “masters” that sometimes the simplest ideas can have the biggest impact.

Called the father of modern networking by CNN, Dr. Ivan Misner is a New York Times bestselling author. He is the Founder and Chairman of BNI (www.bni.com), the world’s largest business networking organization. You can read more of his material on his blog at www.BusinessNetworking.com. Dr. Misner is also the Sr. Partner for the Referral Institute, an international referral training company (www.referralinstitute.com

Tags: networking, November 2011 Edition

15 Responses to “Why Make All the Mistakes?”

David Myers Says:
November 2nd, 2011 at 9:27 am
I recognized this story as soon as I read the first line. Building The Ultimate Network. Great book, especially chapter 22 and the Foreword of course.
mikhal heffer Says:
November 2nd, 2011 at 10:11 am
Hi Ivan,

First, I was very happy to meet you last month in Israel.

I really enjoyed this article. Funny and helpful.

mikhal heffer
lichi translation
lichi@lichi.co.il
Hallie Agostinelli Says:
November 2nd, 2011 at 1:51 pm
Hi Dr. Misner! This made me laugh…and is so true! Thanks for sharing your story.

Hallie Agostinelli
Area Director, BNI South Florida
Carla Hart Says:
November 2nd, 2011 at 3:47 pm
Hi Dr. MIsner!
Being a natural health nut, I loved the story and could guess the reason for vinegar and meat tenderizer…success with no adverse side effects! Thanks for sharing.
Lizette Says:
November 2nd, 2011 at 3:50 pm
I remember Hawaii the same way, except the guys on the beach didn’t have the tenderizer available and said to pee on it… and then volunteered to assist me with that process. I thought they were nuts too… and ended up enduring a lot more pain than a little humiliation from some bodily fluid would have resulted in…. Sometimes the lessons are so simple and yet we just have to go about it the hard way to really get the point. Great article!
Sydney Metrick Says:
November 2nd, 2011 at 4:07 pm
Great story and well told. If only we’d all get that aha and then be able to remember it.
Derek Morton Says:
November 2nd, 2011 at 5:46 pm
Great advice. I hate when I don’t take advice from people, because I wonder how they would know, only to have it be the correct advice
Michi Valeriano Says:
November 2nd, 2011 at 6:23 pm
Thank you for this. In my business I rely a lot on the opinions and feedback of my video production crew, many of whom didn’t graduate from college but have had decades of experience in the field. The first rule of production is to be nice to the “little guys” behind the camera – not the “star” actor or host, or the producer. The little guys, who know all the tricks of the trade, are the ones who make you look good and save your butt at the end of the day.
Suzi Buzzee Says:
November 3rd, 2011 at 9:55 am
I am a pragmatist. It’s good to be open to trying new ideas-especially when the source is the one with experience.
Barbara Mix Says:
November 3rd, 2011 at 12:52 pm
Great article! We also learned that if we get struck by Man ‘O Wars, use vinegar and meat tenderizer! Thank you for sharing!
Bill Iannuzzelli Says:
November 5th, 2011 at 10:57 pm
Interesting article and very well told. I would have been thinking the very same thing you were. It just proves how much the KISS rule is usually the best method. Everyone is always trying to show how smart they are, when the simple answers work the best, You just need to trust!
Jay L. Steinberg Says:
November 7th, 2011 at 10:31 am
Adolf’s Mear Tenderizer is an old Boy Scout Remedy. It works on bee & wasp stings very effectively.
Nelson Blsnco Says:
November 8th, 2011 at 1:18 am
Dr. Misner:
It a nutshell, why try to re-invent the wheel, right?
A tough experience for you but a simple yet powerful lesson for us.
Thanks for sharing!
Nelson Blanco
Mexico City
Prashant Welling Says:
November 8th, 2011 at 7:08 am
Dear Ivan,
Great Story, very simply told, but great learning. I have reacted in the same way, you did albeit in a another situation.

We still commit the same mistakes because of our egos which come in between us and rational clear thinking.

Give others the respect and we will be successful in all your endeavours.

Thank you!

Prashant Welling
Ernie Boxall Says:
January 4th, 2012 at 1:34 pm
Dear Ivan
The story may also signal one of the downsides to the work I do with staff members when I visit companies to deliver shiatsu therapy.
Members often come with “pressure” problems: headaches,stiff shoulders,neck pain or tiredness.Most often 20 minutes of therapy helps the employee return to work in a better state of mind than when they entered the room.
“How does that happen?” is the first question.
“The training I’ve done allows me to feel differences in areas of the body which are out of balance.”
“That’s great.”
I talk to many GP’s and the first question is “Where’s the science.” “Where’s the research?”
it may be that the research for vinegar and a meat tenderizer but I bet there wasn’t when the locals first used it. They used it purely because it worked.
I know BNI rules are used because they are researched, but initially they worked because experts in the field used them successfully.
This is what the story openned up for me anyway.

Thank You

15 Responses to “Why Make All the Mistakes?”

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