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What's Important When You Refer Someone?

by Dr. Ivan Misner

I just finished a survey of more than 12,000 businesspeople from around the world on the subject of networking. One of the questions we asked was "Which of the following is most important to you when referring business to others?" The choices were:

Knowing a person's character.

Knowing a person's level of competency.

Using the person's product or service myself.

Knowing a person's success.

Not surprisingly, "knowing a person's character" ranked first in the survey. "Using the product or service myself" ranked third out of the four choices! This is important to understand when building your network of referral sources; it shows that they are looking at more than just the quality of your products and services.

Often, we think that the best source of referrals must be our clients, customers, or patients. While they are good sources, they are not our only sources. In fact, based on this survey, personally using and experiencing another person's product or services was not as important as other factors.

This means you need to build your credibility with people who know you (whether they've used your business or not). If people trust your character and competency, they are likely to refer you regardless of whether they've actually used your products or services.

This is an important paradigm shift. It means that many of your referrals may actually come from people other than your clients--if you learn how to network effectively.

BNI is a great example of how this works. Although we recommend that members use the services of the other members as much as possible, it is not absolutely necessary. This is one of the reasons why the testimonial portion of a meeting is so important. This is when members learn about other members’ “character” and “competency” from members who have used their services.

I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Called the "father of modern networking" by CNN, Dr. Ivan Misner is a New York Times bestselling author. He is the Founder and Chairman of BNI, the world's largest business networking organization. His newest book, Networking Like a Pro, can be viewed at www.IvanMisner.com. Dr. Misner is also the Sr. Partner for the Referral Institute, an international referral training company.

Tags: character, Competence, credibility, March 2010 Edition, referral sources

22 Responses to “What’s Important When You Refer Someone?”

Alan Foster Says:
March 3rd, 2010 at 12:29 pm
Hi Ivan

This mades real sense to me that these to characteristics should lead the way.

i know a really good tradesman but he is very surly and I have to think long and hard who I refer him too as I think some of my contacts would be offended and intimidated by his approach and negativity. Personally, I would like to refer him to everyone but my relationships with my contacts are very important to me so although he is one of the best his character means ihe is losing business to another BNI member
Jim Strefeler Says:
March 3rd, 2010 at 1:14 pm
Being in BNI over 10 yrs it does not surprise me that character and compentency rate so high. That’s why 1 to 1′s with new members is critical.

Case in point: I met with a new member less than 2 weeks ago. He needed to get a comfort level with me before he could refer to me. After detailing my experience in commercial lending and my approach to each deal and each referral given he left with a much greater comfort level. This week I received a very qualified referral of one his clients! Now the challenge is on me to use what I learned about his business and refer needs, to reciprocate. I now have the knowledge, comfort level and incentive to do so!
David Stinner Says:
March 3rd, 2010 at 1:17 pm
Ivan,
This is some great insight. I totally agree that competency is very important in the referral process. In my field of Information Technology, I need to continuously update my skills so that I can understand the technology that my team engineers and supports. Without being a subject matter expert, it is harder to network and build relationships with people who would refer me. Improving my expertise and core IT competencies has helped me become a better networker at getting the referrals I am looking for.

David Stinner
US itek
Buffalo, NY
http://www.usitek.com
BNI Circle of Excellence
Barry Neagle Says:
March 3rd, 2010 at 1:33 pm
Ivan, thanks for sharing this survey with us. I will use it, as Education Coordinator for my chapter, to make sure we are doing the ‘right’ kind of testimonials to increase our referral business and grow our chapter.
David Boone Says:
March 3rd, 2010 at 2:17 pm
Someones character definately relates to what kind of work they perform. It has been my experience that when dealing with people willing to take shortcuts at all costs very rarely will they stand behind their work. A person of good character will go that extra mile to make sure the job is done correctly and knowing this it is really easy to feel comfortable about giving them referrals.

David Boone
Solar-Tech Mechanical Systems
The Referral Connection
Tony Pinto Says:
March 3rd, 2010 at 2:30 pm
I’m starting to see a lot of referrals from my personal network via social media (Facebook, Twitter, my blog). So I’ve been spending more time on those than LinkedIn lately. Don’t get me wrong, LI is a nice place to house my work history and detailed skill set. But you’re right, there’s nothing like a good character reference from a friend or acquaintance to open the door.
Bobby Wilson Says:
March 3rd, 2010 at 2:42 pm
Ivan
Wow!! this survey really brings it home to you how important credibility is when looking for referrals from your fellow chapter members.It has often been said that your BNI membership begins to bear fruit in the second and third year, once people know you better and feel they can refer you with confidence to their best clients.
The results of the survey reinforces this view, and certainly puts a different perspective on how you present yourself when networking.
The writing of testimonials should be encouraged at every chapter meeting, and the referrals will surely follow.

Bobby Wilson
Cheshire Oaks
UK
Carmen Santora Says:
March 3rd, 2010 at 3:02 pm
Hi Ivan, this is my first time responding, although I have read many of your articles, especially since I became Educational Coordinator in my group. Not only do I completely agree with the findings of your survey, but another point should be brought up. Although going the extra mile is extremely important and that will produce the testimonials you are hoping for, you must continue to service customers down the road.

It takes a lot of time and effort to get the trust necessary to create a good reputation; it takes one poorly thought out action to tear down everything you worked for with that customer.

Carmen Santora
Cape Coral, Fl
USA
Kathy Woods Says:
March 3rd, 2010 at 3:04 pm
Our BNI has grown tremendously in the three years that I have belonged. Because I am an organizer and my clients need to trust me, I have looked for other people that my clients can trust. What surprises and amazes me is that when I have given a referral to a fellow BNI member, some do not respond to the referral. They have to know that I would not refer them again if they don’t value my client, myself and a valid referral. That lack of response speaks volumes to me about a person’s character. In reading your survey for the first time I zeroed in on “product” because I want or my clients want a good product. But you are right! A good product is nothing if a person does not have the character to back his reputation!
M. Ettisch-Enchelmaier, B.A., MSc. Says:
March 3rd, 2010 at 3:09 pm
Dear Dr. Misner! 3/3/2010

I would NOT separate positions 1 and 2:

Knowing a person’s character.
Knowing a person’s level of competency.

Why? He may have a “golden” character but
as a business person incompetent and a
competent business person and a crook.

Sincerely,
Miss Marple aus der Pfalz/Germany
Darren Says:
March 3rd, 2010 at 8:18 pm
Miss Marple … I believe you missed the point of this survey. It’s easy to say that BOTH of those things are important (and quite obvious). But only being able to pick the one feature that is MOST important is much more telling.
Jonathan Tompkins Says:
March 4th, 2010 at 12:38 am
I think this survey highlights one of the reasons why the BNI model works. Character and competency create referral confidence, but are difficult to interpret based on one experience or interaction with a person. Everyone can have a good day and everyone can have a bad day. But, if you’re interacting with someone on a regular basis, i.e. weekly BNI meetings and 121s, you get a much broader view of who they are.

Through BNI, you get to see the other members in a variety of situations. You get to see how consistent they are. You get to see how they handle the accountability and structure of BNI. For instance, if someone regularly complains about having to be at the meeting, or regularly sends a sub in their place, it has a way of chipping away at my confidence in them and therefore causes me to hesitate, even if only a little, when giving them a referral. On the other hand, there are members in my group who actively and joyfully participate in the meetings and serve where they can. I gladly give them referrals, even if I’ve never done business with them personally.

Their display of character and competency as a BNI member causes me to believe that they are the same way in their business.

Jonathan Tompkins
New York Life
Anniston, AL
Rick Itzkowich Says:
March 4th, 2010 at 1:01 am
I agree with Darren – the MOST important attribute for me is character.

As someone who also does a lot of online networking, building credibility is far more important than displaying competency.

Great discussion.
Malcolm Says:
March 4th, 2010 at 2:45 am
There is a risk in concentrating one’s attention on only the two most significant referral determinants. All of the four are important to be cognizant of. Water boils at 212° F (‘down under’ it is 100° C) and not 211° F. What hasn’t been asked in the survey is ‘What is the referral tipping point’ and is it a total mark of 95% of these 4 considerations that has to be taken on board, or a pass mark in all four.

For a brain surgeon I just want the most competent individual with the highest success rate, and their character is not that significant (but an added bonus). If the person was a carer who looked after my grandmother in her own home unsupervised, the person’s character would be paramount and the rest would follow.

I believe that the individual BNI category has an impact on the significance of these answers, and that there is probably an individual tipping point for each.

Nonetheless we should all strive to excell in all areas and be mindful of the survey’s findings.
Steve Says:
March 4th, 2010 at 3:16 am
So true. All of my most satisfying and most profitable clients have come from a point of establishing a relationship. That relationship starts with your opening up yourself and exposing your values so people can see your character. It doesn’t necessarily take a long time to do that either. The BNI model of Dance Cards is an excellent place to start.
Bina Briggs Says:
March 4th, 2010 at 6:36 am
Dear Mr Misner,

As people, we have to like and trust a person before we build any meaningful relationship with that person so for me the survey confirms that we will give a referral to someone whose character we feel comfortable with. For me, within BNI and in business in general, credibility comes through building rapport and relationships, proving to be a number one factor in giving and receiving referrals.

Bina Briggs
Luton, Bedfordshire,
United Kinngdom
Prakash Kapade Says:
March 4th, 2010 at 2:57 pm
Hi Ivan,

Thanks for sharing this valuable survey,character is indeed the most important virtue, and this survey is giving a sort of self confirmation to me that character is above all. What is also interesting to note is that there is a small difference of 0.6% between ‘character of a person ‘ and ‘level of competancy ‘ and I feel it is also equally important

We in India strongly believe in character of a person, as with character comes trust & belief in a person.In Indian epic ” Ramayana ” there is a person called Rama who is regarded as an ideal person with ideal character, and also with high value of competancy . You will in extreme rare case find an Indian who does not know about Rama, as from our childhood his character is imbibed upon us.

Just a brief on Rama & his 9 important characteristics and why number 9 has such a great importance in India :

Lord Rama was born on the ninth day of the month of Chitra, hence we celebrate his birthday as a ‘Navami’. Indian mathematicians and philosophers see nine as a magical number. Planets in our solar system are also nine, as are the main forms of goddess Durga and the ways of bhakti – devotion. Let us consider why we celebrate Rama-Navami, by considering nine of Lord Rama’s great characteristics / virtues.
” Actions speak louder than Words ” was Rama’s chief motto. He embodied all the virtues by practising what he preached. More than his divine powers, his glorious heritage or his incredible prowess was his unblemished, untarnished, irreproachable character. His popularity, bravery, courage in face of all adversities, kindness, sense of justice, obedience, intelligence, limitless patience, boundless compassion and steadfast following of duty / “dharma” have endeared him to countless generations of Hindus and non-Hindus alike.

1) Popularity :- To lay claim to the title of ” Idol / Hero “, one should be popular with the people. Kings and politicians soon loose their popular appeal with loss of power. Popular idol/ hero rules in the hearts and minds of the ordinary people. Rama achieved this by his innate characteristics of charm, kindness, openness, generosity and a real willingness to listen to other’s problem. Everyone in Ayodhya ( Rama’s Kingdom ) felt they could approach Rama with their problems. Rama was known to find swift, realistic and just answers for every one. His aura, charm and charisma made every one relax and feel happy in his presence.
2) Bravery :- It is essential for a ” Idol / Hero ” to be brave. It is not enough to be popular if you can not achieve anything concrete. Rama fought for his people in the battle field as well as the Royal Court of Ayodhya. He stood his ground in all adversities and fought for the cause of righteousness. Being adventurous, Rama took his exile as a great challenge to explore new frontiers. Even in the jungles He fought for the rights of the oppressed. To be brave means to face danger with open eyes. Knowing his enemies strong points aswell as the weaknesses, Rama sought to rid the society of those who threatened to undermine it.
3) Kindness :- This is one of Rama’s major attribute. He taught mankind how to be kind as well as brave. Ravan his adversary was brave but had a cruel heart. This eventually corrupted him and made him a villain. Bravery should be tempered by a kind and gentle heart, so that the God given powers of strength are not misused. Power, success, wealth and popularity can easily go to one’s head and soon corrupt the good intentions one begins with. Rama never let this happen as his prowess was always tempered by a kind and gentle soul.
4) Justice :- Kindness and generosity of heart should not border on to being gullible. Rama’s kindness was tempered by his love for justice. He was always just and fair. Seeing where kindness or punishment is due, Rama delivered it accordingly. In his kingdom, every one had the constitutional right to approach the King with their grievance. Always in keeping with the spirit of justice, Rama installed Vali’s son on the throne of Kishkindh and Ravan’s brother on the throne of Lanka. He never coveted anything that belonged to others and inspired love for justice in his people with his own actions.
5) Obedience :- Most famous attribute of Rama was his obedience and loyalty to his parents, guru( teacher ) and the subjects. Rama sought to keep his father’s promise and willingly accepted fourteen years of exile. If Rama himself disregarded his King and father’s wish, what sort of example would that set for the future generations? To teach obedience, one should practice obedience.
6) Intelligence :- Obedience should always be tempered by intellect. Obedience should not be slavish. Dasharath ordered Rama to take the kingdom by force, imprison him and if necessary call on the army to support him. But Rama refused such suggestions. To break an oath / promise is a sin but to suggest covert ways of escaping the oath would be a greater sin. He always obeyed by considering what would be right, proper and good for his people. Rama asked his father, ” If a drunk parent or guru should order the child or disciple to cremate them, should such an order be carried out? Of course not. Orders given by a clouded mind can not and should not be obeyed. Sometimes it is far better to obey the spirit of the order than the order it self. ”
7) Patience :- Intelligent people should be patient in order to earn people’s love. Often the intellectuals become impatient with the dull witted. Rama had a great virtue of being gentle and understanding even with the uneducated jungle dwellers. Often the intelligent become angry with people who can’t see as far ahead as they can. Rama endured his exile with legendary patience. When he came to the Southern tip of India, He was patient with the Ocean. Rama knew that a single arrow from his bow could achieve his purpose, but He decided to show respect for the Heavenly Gods and waited for their answer. Though capable of building a bridge of arrows, He let the monkeys build a bridge so they too could be satisfied with their war efforts.
Universal Love :- Rama’s love for all creatures great and small helped him win over the hearts of rich and poor, strong and weak, scholars and villagers alike. Rama’s love was universal and boundless. Even Ravan, his mortal enemy, received Rama’s grace. Vali was also convinced of Rama’s love and was liberated from the eternal cycle of birth and rebirth. Rama’s gentleness was legendary and so even the uncivilised jungle dwellers came to him with out any apprehensions. Rama’s love and compassion make him an ideal for all time.
9) Being Dutiful :- Rama was forever aware of his duty – ” Dharma “, and followed it un-nerveingly. All his above characteristics were tempered by desire to follow that which is right. Rama was never blind in his love. Considering duty to be above all else, even life, Rama followed dharma – duty, to the very last. Though he had boundless loved for his wife, He abandoned her for the common moral good of his subjects. Rama followed his duty as a son, brother, husband, prince, king, friend, and father at all times. Regardless of personal cost / grief, Rama sacrificed everything in the pursuit of Dharma, duty.

It is these qualities which have endeared Him to world’s multitudes rather than his good looks or great wealth. Physical beauty wanes with time, money is soon spent, fame is soon forgotten but generous deeds, great character and boundless compassion endure for all time. His wish to do good for the people, even at personal suffering endeared him to the people more than elaborate speeches or ceremonies. His personal conduct spoke louder than mere words of philosophy.
Such is the glory of his memory that even now people invoke ” Rama Rajya ” as the ideal, utopian system. It gave a democratic monarchy to the people. A system in which even the most humble may voice their opinion and be noticed. In Rama Rajya there were no criminals or oppressors and no one was ever oppressed. Every one had equal rights, justice was available to all. Taxes were not excessive and every one had work to occupy them. Rama had assured his people peace and plenty because as a King he served his people rather than be served by them. Where a ruler has all of the above characteristics, people can still enjoy Rama Rajya.
It is the ideal of self-less service which has made Rama one of the greatest idol / hero of all time. On Rama-Navami we fast till noon in anticipation of Rama’s birth and not as a penance. After his birth at mid-day, people celebrate by dancing and singing auspicious songs. Let us celebrate Rama-Navami by following His ideal standards. By following these in his life, Rama has shown that it is possible to aspire for greatness and ” ideal life “.

My suggestion is if you ever come aross reading these two great epics of ancient India – ” Ramayana ” & ” Mahabharata ” don’t miss the opportunity., there is lot to learn from them.

Regards

Prakash
Joan Geraghty Says:
March 7th, 2010 at 3:08 pm
For any budding entrepreneur this finding is great news. As the business model is organic when you’re following up on new ideas and leads all the time, knowing that people will still refer you because of your character means a lot. My reading here therefore is whatever you do, do it well and all will come good in the end. Thanks a lot.
Nigel Reynolds Says:
March 10th, 2010 at 12:41 pm
Hi Dr Misner

I think your Successnet article was itself a success. It has generated thought and responses. I think the answer for me is a combination of 1 and 2. That might sound like a cop out. But it’s not. 1 & 2 are elements of one overall essential for referrals to take place in any volume. That essential is trust. We must trust that the referee will do his job and do it well. And trust them to comply with the undertakings they gave when they joined BNI.

I think BNI provides a perfect environment for generating trust between members.

Nigel Reynolds
Meridian Chapter
London, England
Narendra Damani Says:
March 24th, 2010 at 3:09 am
I have always wondered on this aspect. I also felt the same way. But never attempted to get deep in to this to understand the matter. In fact Jonathan Tompkins has made my work further easier by putting many of my points over here which I would have also put across. Thank you very much Jonanthan Tompkins.

This survey in a way also proves that why BNI works for committed people. The whole system is such the committment in all manner get displayed to the group. Be it attending the meet,participation,presentation,1-2-1 and also helping fellow members to get on the business.

Jonathan Tompkins,I think this survey highlights one of the reasons why the BNI model works. Character and competency create referral confidence, but are difficult to interpret based on one experience or interaction with a person. Everyone can have a good day and everyone can have a bad day. But, if you’re interacting with someone on a regular basis, i.e. weekly BNI meetings and 121s, you get a much broader view of who they are.

One can observe the various phases of fellow member and how one comes out of varieties of situations and challenges. This really enhance the confidence level of the member which translates in to business of unbelievable volume and value.

The important point is stick to the basic requirements,which some times looks very insignificant such as presenting one’s BNI folder or precise up date of business card holder with latest member in group or for that matter display of lapel pins or so on and so forth. There are many ways which are enough pointers to prove one’s credibility and competency which is observed by not only BNI group but also outside BNI group.These provides enough indication of one’s committment towards any assignment taken by people.
Narendra Damani
Proud founding member of BNI Awesome
Bangalore
India
Ivan Misner Says:
March 24th, 2010 at 11:45 am
Great comments everyone. I appreciate your thoughts.

Ivan
Terry Lawson Says:
July 14th, 2010 at 6:57 am
Wow, so true! Yes I agree that 1 to 1 are very very important and BNI Chapter Social funtions(outside of regular meetings) also allows you to get to know members in your chapter better Too!
What a pleasure to read and to know where to go for a shot in the arm of excitement for BNI!! Thanks so much for all that you do to help!

22 Responses to “What’s Important When You Refer Someone?”

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