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BNI Light--Just Isn't Right

Why you can't do less to be a master of success.

By Dr. Ivan Misner

I recently received an email from someone who visited a number BNI groups over several years. He had an idea that I’d like to share:

“I am interested in how I can provide my extensive list of contacts to a local chapter without having to attend the weekly meetings . . . we can attend a meeting once a month. . . while still adopting the BNI ethos and principles of such a well-structured program.”

His request got me thinking.

I’d like to win the Tour de France, but I’m really not a fan of the endless exertion involved. I’ve also always thought it would be amazing to win an Olympic medal; the extreme workouts and conditioning. . . is all that really necessary?

I’ve also often thought I’d make a great medical doctor, and as soon as I figure out how I can do it without having to deal with the whole mess of blood and internal organs (Yuck!), I’ll get right on that! And then there’s my dream of becoming a military general—I would love, really love, to do this, but I need the U.S. Military to realize that boot camp simply isn’t for me and that they should let me skip it entirely. (Is that really so hard to understand?)

Lastly, comes the most coveted achievement of all—the Nobel Peace Prize. Winning would be amazing—it would be my crowning accomplishment. The only problem is that winning would require that I change the world in some dynamic way. Surely there’s something a bit less demanding that I can do to win the prize; changing the world is a big task!

If only wishing made it so, but it doesn’t. The simple truth is, none of us can do less and get the same results.

If Only Wishing Made It So

BNI is the largest, most successful networking organization in the world because of its ethos, principles, and, yes, its “well-structured” weekly meetings. If we start taking apart fundamental portions of the program and expect the same results, we are fooling ourselves. It’s a little like taking a wing off a plane and trying to fly.

I’ve never said that BNI’s program is easy. It isn’t. It does, however, work—if you are willing to work the program consistently and effectively over time. That, of course, begins with actually showing up every week!

It may be tempting to gravitate toward some kind of “BNI Light” model, but there is no diet version of BNI that gives you all the benefits with less work. Only BNI members who dedicate themselves to actively following BNI’s proven structure are the ones who will achieve optimum results and maximum referrals.

So, for those of you who want to be masters of networking, take heed to the phrase I’ve heard spoken to patients on episodes of “ER” when things are looking very grim (Yes, I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that my life as an M.D. will have to be lived vicariously through TV shows): Don’t go into the light!! Sorry, I couldn’t resist.

Called the father of modern networking by CNN, Dr. Ivan Misner is a New York Times bestselling author. He is the founder and chairman of BNI, the world's largest business networking organization. His latest New York Times best selling book, The 29% Solution, can be viewed at 29PercentSolution.com. Dr. Misner is also the Sr. Partner for the Referral Institute, an international referral training company. He can be reached at misner@bni.com.

Tags: BNI, hard work, Ivan Misner, May 2010 Edition, networking

54 Responses to “BNI Light–Just Isn’t Right”

Kathy Bram Says:
May 1st, 2010 at 5:57 pm
Thank you. Once again you show us the way. Often we are approached by people who visit our chapter and want a watered down version of BNI. You put it in perspective perfectly and gave me a few good lines. Hopefully we can help these people to understand that nothing worth achieving comes without effort. I love BNI and look forward to the weekly meetings. I tell my friends that even if I hit the lottery and no longer needed to work I would get up every Thursday morning to be with my friends and help them become more successful.
I am a proud member of the Eagles chapter in New Port Richey Florida. Come visit us some time!!!
Eddie Kearns Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 9:15 am
Great analogy!
Alan Foster Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 9:25 am
Thank you, another great article.

Reminds me of the members that want to cut little bits off the meeting. BNI membership is like a good cake, it needs all the ingredients to provide the final tasty result. Leave out the sugar it wont be sweet, leave out the butter and it will fall apart and leave out the baking soda and it will not rise. Just like food, the diet version never tastes as good as the full fat version.
Alex Ball Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 9:43 am
When I first considered joining, a lot of folks warned me not to “drink the kool-aid”. They meant by this, that they didn’t like the unchanging routine and strict attendance policies- not mention an unwavering devotion to “the system”.

After having experienced both BNI and “BNI-Light”- I can firmly say that following the system works, saves times, and gets result. My ROI on time and money spent is consistently high. I cannot say the same for other organizations who just do what feels good.
Beth M. Anderson Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 9:49 am
Thanks for this Ivan! I have been a member for 12 years this month, and you always come up with just the right words to answer the questions we struggle to answer. BNI works, if you work BNI.
peter denton Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 9:53 am
Down the ages there are saying which agree with your sentiments:

You get out of life what you put in

You reap what you sow

If something sounds too good it probably is

I have been in business for many years and i have done my share of networking to develop our practise.
I am weak on structure and BNI over the past 6 months has given me a more structured approach.
I am more forward in asking for business and making sure people at every meeting i attend know what i do.
It maybe because i am older than alot but i actually enjoy getting up on Thursday mornings.

That said every organisation has to evolve and i had expected BNI to be into the internet more than my organisation.

The use of the internet for networking and developing contacts is essential in todays market.

Peter
Malcolm Kyle Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 9:55 am
Thank you Ivan

There are any number of copycat, pale-imitation variations of BNI around. Several started by ex-members who didn’t like the structure or couldn’t make it work for them.

The fact BNI have a structure, designed to deliver business to our members is unquestionably the reason for our Global success. If anyone feels they need to short cut or short change the way in which BNI runs…. it’s not for them.

Warmest regards from BNI Northumbria, England.
Carole DiMaggio Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 9:56 am
Thanks for the great article. I am sure I will be sharing this one!
Aaron Bates Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 10:05 am
The difference between those who will network and be successful and those who just go through the motions(in this case not even through all the motions) is the difference between success and failure. Those people who do what others won’t will be the ones who rise above.

Aaron
Renia Carsillo Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 10:17 am
Wow! This was the kick in the pants I needed today! Reminds me that every day is a challenge because we’re a part of something important and if it isn’t challenging it won’t be rewarding.
Dave Caddy Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 10:24 am
Great Stuff,
I have just completed assistant Director training, module one and the one fundamental thing that sums up your wise words is that “BNI is not for everyone,” that is why our members should be the cream and nothing less, if everything was easy, everyone would be doing it! Givers not only gain, Givers also give and give and give!
Aaron Salton Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 10:28 am
You were making sense right up to the part about winning the Nobel Peace Prize. Apparantly, that barely requires showing up.
Jacky Sherman Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 10:36 am
This is my favourite article to date. I shall quote it everytime someone tries to tell me there is a quicker, easier way to network effectively. Most of all I shall quote it to me when getting up in the morning seems hard to do.

Thank you

Jacky
Nick Crane Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 10:40 am
Thanks Ivan, I have started and grown two business with BNI. It works. I will attend meetings on a weekly basis. I have a friend whom says he is poor. He works one or two days a week, gets up at 9am and complains that his employees don’t respect him and he says that he does not have enough money. I have suggested he work a 5 day week and get into work earlier than 11am.
Brian Mattocks Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 10:46 am
The idea that you cannot do more with less is false. The industrial age has shown us this quite clearly. Process improvement efforts like Six Sigma and others clearly enable achieving better results while minimizing effort.

Continuious improvement prevents good ideas from becoming dogma.

BNI is like a gym membership – you must show up and exercise; but, you must also improve your exercise methods to optimize your outcomes.
bryan hoying Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 10:57 am
what a great topic! I gave my 10 min presentation this morning which puts me in the rotation for the education moment next week. Its a great common sense reality check. sometimes we can get caught up in the gray area of things. BNI to me is your in or your out! Its about my REFERABILITY…..Which has been my key to my sucess in the automobile industry for the past 18 years. I can weather any storm with that one word. Thanks for the light.
Matteus Åkesson Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 10:59 am
Thank you – you made me realise once again the true essence of BNI:

BNI is like working out! I use the principles in and outside of BNI-meetings… but only with BNI do I get that work out.

I’m a member of BNI Kramer in Malmö, Sweden.
Chris King Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 11:11 am
Every Successful Company, Organisation, Sports Team has as structure. Those that do not usually fail! I think the key is to stay the course, but have fun during the meetings. Each member brings their personal attitude and enthusiam to their meetings. Bringing the right attitude and enthusiam to every meeting is what makes BNI successful. Our structure is the best, but the best part of the structure are those people who bring fun, enthusiam and their positive spirit to share with others. People are drawn to people they like, and when you are liked and having earnt others respect..the referrals start to flow.
Barbara Marsden Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 11:20 am
This article relates so well to my business. Although sales meetings are not mandatory, they are essential to the success of a person’s business.

I am often asked by a consultant, “Do I have to go to sales meetings?” My answer is, “If you want to be successful!!!”
Derek Granger Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 11:21 am
This is a fantastic article because its so true you. Why should anyone expect to get the rewards of good quality referral if they arent prepared to put in the hard work like the rest of us. Also like Jacky I think I will be reminding myself of this on the mornings when I really dont want to get up so early.

Derek BNI Lochside Scotland
Ulf Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 11:30 am
A few words about the army analogy: In Sweden military service was mandatory up until a few years ago. However, joining the more ambtious and demanding services (airborne rangers and such) was volountary. Those more demanding services always had a long line of young men volunteering, far more than they actually needed (even if you weed out those who did´t meet the qualifications). There is actually marketing vaule in something not being for everybody. (Ever notice how new yorkers clandestinley brag while pretending to complain about how tough it is to live in their city?)
Lawrence Conyers Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 11:47 am
Like a lot of the principles of BNI, it’s sort of obvious but a reminder every now and then works wonders.

There’s a very good reason the meetings are structured in the way they are.
Ian Scott Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 11:50 am
This person talks about “adopting the BNI ethos and principles”. They have missed the most imprtant principle of all. Givers Gain!
Attending the meeting is so that you can listen, which enables you to give.

Suggestion to them: Buy a good book and read. Try “Business by Referral.”

Ian Scott BNI BC Canada
Ryan Critchett Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 11:56 am
Great article!

I must say that I am in support of the “be there” message. The underlying structure of BNI is what creates the level of success for your business that you seek when you initially sign up for it. I believe that total immersion is key to making quantum leaps in business, your relationships, personal development and the like. At a very young age, I am fortunate enough to have discovered that you cannot do a “good job” and get good results. Do a “good job” and you get mediocre results.. do an extraordinary job and you get good results, do an outstanding job, with an insatiable thirst to grow, and you get excellent results. I’m Ryan Critchett, an IT Professional with PC Doctor LLC
Jim Sullivan Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 12:23 pm
As someone who has lived more years that he has years to live and a new member of the Sunshine Business Builders grouop in Shelbyville, IN, I can’t cay enough good things about this organization. When I first heard of the concept, I figured I would do “just enough” and “get by”. Once I went to training I found that I was wrong. It is very important that I become a “Marketing arm” of everyone in the BNI group. I never considered that before. Just read my first “SuccessNet Online” and was once again assured that I made the right dedision joining BNI. Thank you.
Asa Davis Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 12:27 pm
Ivan, you joke about the Nobel Peace Prize, but the criteria is as follows: “[Awarded to] the person who shall have done the most or the best work for fraternity between nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses”.

BNI is in all 6 populated continents and has a common agenda that allows for someone to participate in a meeting, even if they are unfamiliar with the language or culture. Fraternity between nations? Check.

BNI has a positive meeting used to foster long-term, deep relationships among people of different racial and socioeconomic backgroups. Promotion of peace congresses? Check.

The organization you founded is responsible for generating over $2 Billion in closed business for its members annually. Economic prosperity is often a catalyst for peace within regions. Does BNI help bring peace and prosperity wherever it goes? You bet.

Has BNI changed the world significantly? It has changed my world, and I bet there are 100,000+ people out there who agree with me. Thanks, Ivan, for all you do!
Frank Roe Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 12:39 pm
Someone once wrote ‘the only time that success comes before work is in the dictionary’- how relevant it is in this case!
I’m a new member and this article re-inforces the BNI training I took part in this morning.
Glen Murray Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 12:45 pm
Thanks Ivan,

As a 6 year member and former director it is sometimes so hard to get people to “get it.” Well said!

Glen Murray
BNI Amplify
Vancouver, BC
Betty Jo Waxman Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 1:01 pm
Truer words were never spoken! BNI works. And thinking we can find some way to do less and still get the same results is delusional! We see this frequently with our clients; what they want is exciting to them, but often what they are willing to do and change to get there, is minimal. I’m all for not making it harder than it needs to be, but attempting to cut out one of critical pieces of the BNI structure and expecting it to continue to function…well, we know by the lack of any examples of it working how that will go!
George Cossey Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 1:08 pm
I like the analogy, nothing good comes without sustained effort. There are no shortcuts in networking as there are no shortcuts in business or life itself.
Steve Wein Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 1:17 pm
Yes, yes, yes. And thanks for making me laugh while making such a great point.
John Gamble Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 1:24 pm
I’m a pretty new kid on the BNI block, but our education coordinator always focuses on the fundamentals. You are in good company and there is no BNI light.

Remember what Lombardi said at the beginning of each new year: This is a football.

take care,
-john
Gwendoline Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 1:24 pm
As a new member of the BNI Harpenden Triumph chapter (UK), I’m reading this newsletter for the very first time and I’m thinking WOW! This is the kind of response that I would expect from a world leader – it’s to the point in both a humorous and engaging format. I love your anicdotes of what you’d love to do “If only wishing made it so easy”. What would I love to do? At the moment I’d love an extra couple of days in the week because my brain is like a sponge soaking up all of the BNI juicy concepts, terrific training and top tips that are helping me develop as an individual, strengthen my chapter and grow my interior design company. Of course I’ve tried BNI Light and I’ve made some valuable relationships and great friendships BUT do they remember me from one month to another? Of course they do because I’ve hoooked them into my social networking and use drip feed marketing to build a level of trust and interest so that I’m their designer of choice. But I just love the honesty of BNI. I love having a sales team who are promoting me and my company. I always prefer actual rather than virtual relationships.
Shabbir Halai Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 1:27 pm
What a great answer and it’s hard to argue with! I have only been a member 6 months (of the Foundation Chapter in London, England) but have worked up to Member Host and looking to be the next Chapter Director. Such a great feeling getting business FOR people and FROM people.
Sandy Pirwitz Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 1:52 pm
Thanks, I’m going to share this with all of my chapters’ members and also on my Facebook page. Great info.
Maria Gandara Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 2:27 pm
Thanks Ivan, what fantastic analogies you use. I’m always amazed at the number of visitors TO BNI who think that by taking all the member’s business cards and then bombarding them with emails, they’re going to make a sale. The majority of people don’t “get” networking and want instant results. Great article!
Doug Morgan Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 2:53 pm
So interesting how the culture of various BNI groups either get it or don’t! We have groups that embrace everything we teach them as Executive Directors and other groups that dabble. Funny thing is the group that struggle are dabblers. Is there a correlation? You bet!
Shawn McCarthy Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 5:25 pm
Great article and great comments! I especially like Alan Foster’s (comment # 3)analogy about the cake, Aaron Bates (comment # 9)speaking of the difference between success and failure, Nick Crane (comment # 14) talking about the “11 am” guy, and Doug Morgan (comment # 38)about how some chapters “get it” and some don’t.
It all boils down to this: “The secret to success without hard work is still a secret”.

Shawn McCarthy BNI ED Ventura County, Ca.
Julie George Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 5:44 pm
I’m a physician in AZ that put in all of the work, however it never fails to see the people that act as if they are medical experts without the training. I love the analogy. I’m a member of BNI because I love giving business to locals.
James Karundu Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 5:47 pm
Great article !
Right on on target- there is no ‘light’ version of BNI .Only full strength available .
I am a chapter Director of Infinity chapter in Nairobi , Kenya.
Mitzi Hansen Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 7:30 pm
Hi Ivan,

Once again a very inspirational article and for a semi-newbie with BNI in Auckland, New Zealand, I am sometimes faced with questions regarding this networking platform. But as how it is in my own personal business, REAL ESTATE, keep on keeping on is my policy. And visibility surely brings credence to our networking business…
Javier Unzueta Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 7:43 pm
I’ve seen members who “just show up”. Arrive at 7:00. Leave at 8:30. Do the bare minimum, and yes, achieve the same bare minimum. That, to me, is BNI-Light.

I prefer drinking my brand of Koolaid fully concentrated. After my approval and induction in BNI, I went full bore. Took all the policies to heart. In less than 2 years, my biggest ticket increased by a factor of 100.

It’s a shame that BNI-Light member’ knows of success about as much as I know of recession! (What’s a recession?)
Carmen Santora Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 7:48 pm
I really appreciate this article. I moved into Florida two years ago and although my business was 15 years old in PA, no one knew of us in South West Florida. My BNI group pulled me in and did everything they could to make sure I was successful. I have done the same for each of them and think the organization is amazing.

I envy you for starting such a magnificent organization, and I agree with the concept that “You get out of it what you put into it”. But as you always remind us, we need to give first and actually, as most of you know, that feels good and you should be proud to be part of such an organization and proud to be of that type of personality, not everyone is.

Great article and my talk for tomorrow’s meeting.

Carmen Santora
Waterside Chapter, Ft Myers Florida
Malcolm Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 9:14 pm
I am a little softer than Ivan and many of the respondents. Different networking groups provide different outcomes for different people and we all need to choose what suits us.However if we buy a four cylinder car and wedge a V8 into it we are not likely to get a good result because if nothing else the sterring braking needs are all going to be impacted. Similarly we would be ill advised to buy a cadillac and put a 4 cylinder engine in it to improve fuel economy.

Most often the shortcoming is in the individual member rather than the organisation. Even if BNI only got ‘it” 80% right that is a powerful start. The curious thing is that over time Chapters become self-selecting and improve over time or languish.

I do not think that BNI is for everybody but it doesn’t pretend to be. A golfer uses 14 clubs and chooses the appropriate club depending upon the prevailing situation.
Ian C. Weekes, Trident Chapter, Barbados Says:
May 5th, 2010 at 11:34 pm
Thank you Dr. Misner for sharing your response to the “BNI Light” model, it is aptly put. Shawn McCarthy’s reflection on the success quote, “The secret to success without hard work is still a secret” sums it up appropriately.

A list of prospects does not equate to qualified referrals!

The “BNI Light” model is for those persons who are interested in “Sometimes Business” i.e. you conduct business sometimes, like once a month. While “BNI The Real Thing” caters to those who are interested in building relationships to assist others in growing their as well as growing your business too!
Rob Haskins Says:
May 6th, 2010 at 12:05 am
I recently visited several BNI chapters, looking for the right fit for me and my business. I was amazed to find a chapter that didn’t seem to have much structure. (Having been in BNI leadership before, I knew what to look for). Come to find out, the chapter folded a few weeks later. They had lost their way. I found a chapter that seems awesome. Their interview to see if I was a fit for them was exausting but in a way refreshing. What a difference.

It takes commitment to build real long term relationships or trust. Meeting only once or twice a month, does not give you enough time for those roots to go deep. I am still friends with BNI members from my old BNI of years ago.

Here is the key: Are you prospecting for business or networking for relationships? The latter will bring quality business for years.
Dermot FitzGerald Says:
May 6th, 2010 at 2:45 am
Dear Ivan,
A great article. My brother is Rory McIlroy’s caddy. After winning the Quail Hollow Championship last week , I posed the question to him on what changed in order to win this PGA event. His answer was simple….Practise….BNI is the same. There are no shortcuts…
Sampathkumar Iyengar Says:
May 6th, 2010 at 6:49 am
A great article and a grim reminder to those who take the easy way out. I have been a member for about a year now and I am thoroughly enjoy the meetings and its great structure. The eductation that BNI imparts to business owners in tremendous and a welcome change in this competietive world.

Sampathkumar Iyengar
BNI – Fortune
Bangalore, India
Bob Nicoll Says:
May 6th, 2010 at 1:10 pm
Great article Ivan. I believe your Ph.D. could also be one in “Hitting the Nail on the Head”. I have been associated with BNI since 1989. Even with a 10 year absence, I have been to over 2700 meetings,(as an Ambassador, Assistant Director as well as a member.)

Bottom line—- the concept works when we work it.

Thank you for your vision.

Bob Nicoll
Chief Paradigm Shifter
Remember the Ice
Eagle River, Alaska
Jody Lende Says:
May 7th, 2010 at 9:26 am
This is so true! Thanks for telling it like it is! I am a hairstylist & I have seen so many co-workers through out my career, who have sat around waiting for the “busy bus” to pull up outsite the salon, moping about how broke they are & complaining about the boss not doing enough to help them grow a clientele!
Now I’m a salon owner & I see it in employees too! The ones who get out there & network to bring in clients, ask for refferal & then treat people right when they do come in are very successful, while those who wait for it to happen nerer are. YOU HAVE TO WANT IT BADLY ENOUGHT TO GO & GET IT!
Graeme C. Halloway Says:
May 8th, 2010 at 1:17 pm
At 59 I’m am not the ‘retiring’ sort though some may say I’m ‘shy’. BNI is like a responsible family; enthused, we are striving together to bring the best out of each other with the same high goals.
I love Alan’s ‘cake’ analogy and find once again that you, Ivan, re-educate with a common sense approach, supported by further stimulus from the threads above.
I’m currently on holiday but cannot miss MY 10 minute opportunity to further educate others about MY business on Friday, 14th inst.(Not that I’m rushing back early from anywhere, it’s too ‘dusty’ to fly)!!
Many more should be spurred on by Frank’s observation that:
“The only time Success comes before Work is in the dictionary”.
So many little gems, I only wish I had a good memory!!
Patti Says:
May 11th, 2010 at 8:38 pm
I cherish my BNI membership….and LOVE the reminder that like my garden, it needs attention to produce results! There is very good reason we are your “followers” your insight is fantastic..you’re a great leader! Love BNI! My membership is 8 years strong….and my chair will never be vacated! Keep educating us Ivan—IT WORKS! Thx much, Patti Brown, Business Boosters Chapter, Yucca Valley, CA
Ethnie Weekes Says:
May 29th, 2010 at 5:24 am
You are so right, Ivan. I suppose we are in the age of instant gratification and expect things to happen immediately. As someone else mentioned and I have always said, BNI can work but you have to work it and that means attending the meetings every week, organising dance cards and lots of networking.
Website Design Darlington Says:
November 2nd, 2011 at 6:40 am
Great article Ivan, BNI is a great influence on me!

54 Responses to “BNI Light–Just Isn’t Right”

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