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Anchor Your Networking Group with Strong Relationships

It's the chain of relationships that keeps you afloat.

By Dr. Ivan Misner

This article is a unique one because normally you only hear from me; but this entry, which talks about building relationships, was fittingly co-written with my wife Beth, the person in my life with whom I have the strongest relationship.

This summer, our family took a multi-day, small ship tour of the Great Barrier Reef. The first night we noticed that the anchor being used to secure our small ship in the middle of the Coral Sea was quite small compared to the size of the ship.

The second night we were anchored off Hope Island some strong winds began to kick up. Our captain started the engines and backed the ship up, letting out more length of chain to the anchor. Curious (and admittedly a bit concerned), we asked him how it was possible for such a small anchor to hold the ship in place with the winds aggressively blowing against it.

“It’s the chain that’s holding the ship, not the anchor,” he informed us. Apparently, after the anchor is lowered, the captain looks to the first mate, who signals from the prow which direction the chain is laying on the bottom of the sea. The captain then maneuvers into the right position and lets out the necessary amount of chain to hold the ship according to the particular conditions at that time.

This particular night, with the winds growing stronger, the captain realized that he needed to let out more chain.

It struck us that this dynamic is relevant to networking groups. You see, a networking group’s anchor is its system, its process of doing business. However, it’s not actually the anchor (the system/process) that dictates the strength of a networking group.

Take a look at your networking group and think about the links, or relationships, you have formed with the individual members. How many “links” does your chain have? Do you have strong relationships with all the other members in the group, or are you closely linked with some but disconnected and detached from others?

So how do we go about adding more links (aka building more relationships) so we can let out more chain during times when the economic winds threaten to batter our businesses? We need to get serious about developing stronger relationships with every member of our networking group, even the ones we might not think have the contacts we want, or perhaps are in a business that isn’t exactly symbiotic with ours.

We naturally form relationships with those businesses that are closely related to ours. But what do we do about those members whose businesses are totally out of sync with ours, those members who seem unable to provide qualified referrals? Try scheduling one-to-one meetings with those members. Spending time to have one-to-one meetings with each and every member of your group helps you develop a longer and stronger chain of relationships. Each person in your group is one of the links that lengthens that chain.

The wisdom of laying down a longer chain to strengthen the ability of the anchor to hold strong is critical for the success of your networking group.

Starting this week, focus on extending your relationship chain within your networking group. We guarantee it will be what anchors your business and your networking group, despite economic fluctuations.

Tags: 2009 Edition, Butterfly Effect of Networking, Collaboration, connections, Ivan Misner, networking, Networking Education, Networking Prep, October, referrals, Self Development

14 Responses to “Anchor Your Networking Group with Strong Relationships”

Flynn Nogueira Says:
October 7th, 2009 at 11:46 am
Ivan,
Great metaphor for building relationships – especially when you talk about how each person is a link for strength and growth. Wonderful image. Thank you for all you wonderful writings.
Kathryn Eaton Says:
October 7th, 2009 at 5:38 pm
How true this is. I find that when a group is losing its effectiveness and falling short of its purposed goals, it generally goes back to the strength of the group, the chain as you so eloquently pointed out in your article. Strong healthy relationships are the key components to most of the challenges we face.
Diane F. Grannum Says:
October 7th, 2009 at 8:15 pm
Thank you for giving me two interesting ways to look at networking, I will give those members I have not been working with more time as well as reconsidering those with more remote businesses to mine. The BNI structure is inspiring as well and thanks for that.
Dr R Graham Hunt Says:
October 8th, 2009 at 4:13 am
G’day Ivan, A good analogy indeed, but let’s not forget that a good anchor, no matter it’s size, is essential. In your particular case that anchor is Beth. For me, it is Patricia.

In May we celebrated our Golden Wedding Anniversary here in Malaysia with over 140 friends and colleagues sharing in that celebration. In November we head down to Melbourne to celebrate our 50th and a 1/2 years of weathering life together. That shindig will be with our family, friends and another group of colleagues.

Although I just recently returned to BNI, after being away for a number of years, I must say that the links that are forged amongst like minded people can certainly be essential in a storm filled world, and trustworthy links can prove to be nearly as essential as that special anchor. That is what BNI is building

May God continue to bless you and your anchor [Beth] and all the little vessels you have launched around this world.
Peter Roberts Says:
October 8th, 2009 at 4:45 am
Wow – that was powerful. I shall use that (abbreviated) when talking to clients.

I am in sales and think it very important to refocus periodically on what we do and how others perceive us.

The anchor and chain can be compared to all relationships and is a powerful tool if used correctly.
Bob DeGange Says:
October 8th, 2009 at 7:24 am
How illuminating! As I read the article I realized not only what I did not see in my BNI experience, but what I desire. Life to me is about relationships,not business.
kerry wiley Says:
October 8th, 2009 at 7:56 am
I feel as if my BNI group is successful because of our “links” to one another. We have many 1-1 meetings and build relationships with each other regardless of business. We have amazing leadership, and members who are supportive professionally and personally. Thanks for the anchor.
Sincerely,
KW
Sandi Duval Says:
October 8th, 2009 at 11:06 am
Thank you for this great article! Members learn more easily through pictures that we paint in their minds, and this analogy paints a great picture of a very strong chain, link by link. Dance Card One to One meetings and creating Power Teams can all strengthen the chain. And a great point was made never to prejudge a profession in your chapter, all members and their professions can help each other grow and prosper if they work together!
Joan Geraghty Says:
October 10th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
Thank you for the reminder. In our chapter we are working very hard to bring in new visitors and grow – which may be taking the focus off developing our own existing relationships. So much potential everywhere.
Trevor D'Enyar Says:
October 11th, 2009 at 12:24 am
As a new member of BNI (one month) I am fast becoming aware of its value and power.I have been in sales since I was 20 and have developed my networking skills from many sources over the years. BNI takes networking to a much higher dimension of insight and effectiveness. I have done 6 dance cards, so have 31 to go. They are very valuable and as you say they are vital links in the network chain of success. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
Marilee Jacobi-Popovich Says:
October 13th, 2009 at 11:50 am
Just want to let you know what took place at yesterday morning’s North Lake Chapter of BNI in Northwest Indiana. It was an exciting meeting in so may ways. First of all it was Guest Day with a good turn-out. Secondly, Alyne Dawson-Washington, our Educational Coordinator read portions of the transcript from BNI Podcast Episode 122: “The Strength of Your Anchor”. I wished I would have brought my recorder to have captured the inspiring moment. Her presentation was so elegant and the group was very taken by your words. Finally, I had to follow with my 10-Minute Presentation — what a great segue because I feel it helped me set the group’s hair on fire!

Thank you Dr. Misner for your weekly podcasts.

Marilee Jacobi-Popovich
Margaret Davis Says:
October 19th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
Wo what a great analogy. This is something I will want to share wtih others as I build my own chain! Thanks from Crossville:=)
Jenny Neesam Says:
October 19th, 2009 at 7:08 pm
I have always been a believer in forming strong links with people, but haven’t always found it easy to do. Since joining BNI however it has become a little easier, and the committment of the BNI members has been a lot more sincere enabling the links to be stronger; it’s about honesty and open mindedness.
David Stinner Says:
October 28th, 2009 at 1:29 am
Ivan,
That was a great example of the connects we need to build in our chapter. I will be working harder to build relationship with more members in my chapter, becuase the ones I have built the stongest connection to so far are also the ones who are giving me the most qualified referals in return.
David Stinner
US itek
http://www.usitek.com
BNI Circle of Excellence, Buffalo, NY

14 Responses to “Anchor Your Networking Group with Strong Relationships”

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